Wednesday, 28 April 2010
This one is right on the fucking line isn't it? My keyboard releases toxic vapours that make you suggestible. You know I must say I actually feel more suggestible and that's just from one sniff.
Tuesday, 27 April 2010
Your friends all say..."Where is our boy ? Oh, we've lost our boy"
Apologies for the blurriness of the pic, I assume the Mail's online team are too busy playing Farmville.
Monday, 26 April 2010
Granny flat dust-up: Distraught pensioner wrestles with police and jumps in front of the digger sent to demolish her £1million luxury annexe
I think I saw her on 'Danny Dyer's Deadliest Extensions' on Bravo the other week.
Saturday, 24 April 2010
Like 'the last days of Saigon': Angry and stranded, 350 British tourists cause near-riot at Bangkok airport
Yes, it's JUST like the fall of Saigon. Jeremy and Tamsin had to run for their lives when the NVA stormed the airport Starbucks. Bloody natives don't speak a word of English either. A very cruel race.
Friday, 23 April 2010
Thursday, 22 April 2010
Brain surgery grandfather finds he has been given X-rays of someone else's head 9 months after getting the all-clear
Mountain > molehill
Wednesday, 21 April 2010
This one just about scrapes in.
Tuesday, 20 April 2010
Fancy dress is for wankers, so I'm shoulder to shoulder with Uncle Walt here.
Friday, 16 April 2010
M&S staff refuse to push cancer sufferer's trolley to her car 'because we are not insured to cross the road'
I'd have got it delivered myself. Doing the big shop is a right old faff.
Thursday, 15 April 2010
Caravanner, 61, prosecuted for having Swiss Army knife in his glove box... to cut up fruit on picnics
Just eat the skins you pussy, they're good for you.
Wednesday, 14 April 2010
Oh my gosh! This one's a stinker:
Tuesday, 13 April 2010
Would have preferred a pic of Disgusted Of Waters Upton, but you have to carry on don't you? That's how we beat the Germans.
Homeowner hit by burglars three times... after they spotted his garage door left open on Street View
Should have left it shut then.
Monday, 12 April 2010
Can someone explain to me how he managed to 'stab himself in the stomach while whittling a stick', and what the hell whittling a stick is? Is it some kind of pre-industrial revolution McJob?
Woman, 86, 'threatened by security staff at Marks & Spencer... for eating biscuit in wrong part of the store'
To quote Bernard Manning (and Didier Drogba), 'it's a fucking disgrace'
Sunday, 11 April 2010
I think that's the least of his worries to be honest. Looking at his hair and phone, he appears to be trapped in 1999.
Holiday ruined after Ryanair tells passenger 'You can't fly - the ink on your boarding pass is too FAINT'
I'm a bit perturbed by the picture agency credit here. Are they in-house?
I do like that couch Andrew. Where'd you get it?
It was good of the picture editor to blur out the address.